MIRROR...

                      Comatose; Diary of a serial killer...

Mother Nature. The worst of all serial killers. She knows she's good and can never get caught. So she leaves a trace. A trace that leads to nowhere. At most times, what you think is the biggest of all clues turns out to be the least...and the least, the biggest. The first last and the last first. A situation of  ''the stone the builders refused turned out to be the most important. The deception of the world. The deception of a mirror! 

...Life is really interesting. I mean here I am after all this while and still am just the same 'little ol me'. There's nothing new, really, under the sun. I sat up in bed and watched the sun rise through the open window. It's rays slowly warmed my pale skin yet made no difference to my already cold blood. It made no difference to my killer heart. Today was the day. The day that I would finally finish my mission and get it over with.  
        ''It must look like an accident''
I almost laughed as those words resonated through my head. They appeared unreal. An almost illusion. Like everything else in my life. A lie.
Yet, I never used to be like this. I never used to be this blood thirsty animal that relished in the death of others. This beast...this...this demon that craved the souls of men. I used to be pure. Clean. Innocent. But even innocence can be an offense.
I used to be this quiet girl. The lamb at the back of the class. My college days were the best because that is where I found love. That was where I actually felt that I belong.
On the eve of October 21st 1993, a lot of anxiety riddled the campus halls. Every one was expectant of something great. Something epic. Deep in our hearts we yearned for that adventure that came with the retreat to Nairobi's Safari Park Hotel. It was one of those campus beauty contests and I was one of those participating. You can therefore be guaranteed that I looked gorgeous... or at least that was what Kevin told me. Kevin was my love. My boyfriend for three years to date. People told us that we were literary married. I loved him so much and as much as those were merely jeers meant to ridicule us, deep down I hoped that one day we would actually be one.
We arrived at the Hotel an hour to the event. The place looked spectacular. Lights. Wallpapers. Music. Drinks. It was more than I had imagined. I gave Kevin a quick kiss and rushed to the changing rooms. From afar I heard him shout a last minute ''good luck''. The place was a bee hive. Every one rushing in a flurry of activity.
Inside the changing room, it was worse. Oxygen was a privilege. Yet in the midst of all that activity, I suddenly got this weird feeling. Something was wrong. Something just wasn't right. I couldn't explain it so I went on with my work. My working space was kinder small and the girl doing my makeup kept telling me to smile. I did. But when I saw myself on that mirror, it couldn't have looked any more fake.
   ''Maybe it's just the anxiety that comes with any contest,'' I told myself.
Yet I knew deep down inside that that was the biggest lie. A deception.


The contest was a success so far. Every one was having the time of there lives. The girls all graced the runway with an elegant gait that left the guys drooling over themselves. Flashes were everywhere. I began to feel less queer when I saw Kevin on the audience. He was smiling. The rest of the night went on fine. When my time came to walk the walk... I walked. I glided that runway like I was born to do it.
''What was it that was making me nervous?'' I wondered.

I went back to the changing room and gave my reflection a high-five. I had done it. I got changed in a hurry and run to see Kevin.
''He's going to be so proud,'' I mused to myself.

I went down the hallway, rushed passed the buffet table and ambled towards table 15. Fifteen was our favorite number because both of us were born on the fifteenth, but of different months. In all our dates we always sat on table 15. This event was no exception. I was anxious to see him. As I swept the room with my eyes, I finally saw him...and shuddered. 

There was Kevin, embracing another woman!

Suddenly, the music wasn't so loud any more. The dark feeling that I had earlier on came back like a wave. The rest of the world became a blur as my eyes remained fixed on the two. I stared at them for so long that  they began to look alike. And at that moment I became someone else.

I went to my jacket pocket and took out my cell phone. I speed dialed Kevin and put the phone on my ear to listen as I continued to stare at the two. I saw him get distracted and dig to his pocket.
   ''Hey there Hun,'' came his voice. ''You done yet?''
   ''Not really,'' I replied. ''Do you mind taking me to the parking area. I kind of forgot something in the bus.''
   ''Of course dear. I'll be there in a minute.''

I retreated my steps back to the buffet area and stole a knife. Then step by step I made my way to the parking.


My breathing was fast. I could hear my heart beat as it drummed in my chest. I swallowed hard.
  ''This is just not me!''
I ran all the way back to the changing room, glad to find no one there. I locked myself inside and rushed to my changing space. I stared at my hands and shuddered when I saw the blood stains on them. I swallowed again.
   ''What have I done?''
At that moment I looked at myself on the mirror. The same mirror that a little while back showed me smiling and happy; beautiful and ecstatic... now showed me fallen and miserable. I felt tears cascading but in my reflection, was the complete contrary. My reflection was smiling. I stared deep into its eyes and there I saw myself. I saw what I had become. I saw what had possessed me and turned me to what I am today. I cried even more yet my image was at peace. I heard a loud shrieking from outside and knew that they had found the body.
Immediately I washed my hands and wiped out my tears. I took a moment and glanced at my reflection one last time. It was still smiling. In that moment of stillness, I felt a smile form on my own face. I tried to fight it but it was of no use... It wasn't me any more.

Outside everything had been put to a halt and a crowd had gathered on the once desolate parking lot. I pushed my way through the crowd till I saw Kevin's body just as I had left it. Dead. The slut of a girl I had seen him with was on her knees crying. I almost laughed. They deserve it. They both deserve it.
An officer of the law came by and began to haul her off the body. But she resisted.
   ''Am his sister! Am his damn sister so leave me alone!''